Friday, August 26, 2011


That's just how this day feels.  So far, anyway.  It's early.

I have managed to finish painting the back of the house.  Now, that doesn't mean the eaves, just the main part of the siding and I have no intentions of apologizing for not painting the eaves.  Who looks at them anyway?  All that's left is the front part of the house then to tidy up the trim because let's just face it.  I was a little sloppy.  You would be too up on a 24' rickety aluminum ladder.  I inherited it somehow.  I don't even remember how I got it.  Doesn't matter because I need a new sturdier one to be safe. 

More ramble.

I think that tonight I'll light a fire in the firepit and watch what we call camp tv.  Why is fire so mesmerizing?  it's almost hypnotic.  Maybe it's the constant movement of the flames.  Maybe it's the color.  Maybe it's the heat.  Maybe it's what it represents to our deep, evolving psyche.  Fire helped to civilize us.  Or so we're taught.  I wonder sometimes if we're civilized yet.  Look at what we do to each other and are doing to our planet.  That's not civilized. 

What IS civilized anyway?  Using the proper fork?  Maybe.  Or maybe that's just manners and we should never mistake one for the other.  Hitler knew which was the appetizer fork and yet look what he did to his fellow humans. 

Civilized.  According to webster,


having an advanced or humane  culture, society, etc. (There's your arts, music, proper fork and knife and books)
polite; well-bred; refined.  (Soooooo, bubba swamp person can't be civilized?  Hardly.)
of or pertaining to civilized people: The civilized world must fight ignorance.  (Ignorance of what?  To listen to some politicians, half the population is ignorant and must be told what to think and how to act.  God KNOWS that women are incapable of making their own decisions about their own bodies and God FORBID that we should hold the men just as responsible.  Unless I'm mistaken, there is only one virgin pregnancy.  Takes sperm to fertilize that egg so why aren't we screaming at the men and boys to wrap that thing up and be responsible?  Because, people, everybody knows that women are the most powerful beings on the planet.  One flash of poonany and men just lose their minds.  They kill for it.  They compromise their careers for it.  They destroy nations for it.  They write books and music and plays and movies about it.  They can't control themselves because of it.  Ladies...we should harness this power.  Let's meet later over coffee and discuss it.  Men.  Ignorant fools.)

4.easy to manage or control; well organized or ordered: The car is quiet and civilized, even in sharp turns. (Well look at that.  "Easy to manage or control."  "Well organized or ordered."  This may be why the Occupy folks scare so many civilized people.  This may be why they have some politicians and rich bankers upset.  They're.....say it.............unCIVILIZED........gasp.  I'll bet that many in that group know what fork to use, are polite, well-bred--whatever THAT means-- and refined--whatever THAT means.  And still, they are uncivilized, according to some.  They are shaking and questioning the status quo.  They are not easy to manage.  They are not well organized (though some are getting better at it) and they are not ordered.  Chaos.  Chaos scares us because it's uncivilized.)

We kill each other.  Steal food from each other.  Subjugate each other and yet we have the audacity to call ourselves civilized.


Thanks.  I'll pass.  I can do without the culture and refinement if that's what makes me fit society's idea of civilized, if that's what lumps me in with those who are wreaking havoc on this planet and those who live on it.


Give me a fire and turkey leg and I'm happy.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Florida Bound

Seems like forever since we were there last but it's been only since March. Time for me to recharge again. I am drawn inexplicably to the ocean. I think it's the sensations of the sound and wind and rocking of the water, the rhythmic crashing of the waves and how they make smooth the roughness of the sand. In some ways they bring order to the chaos of the tiny grains. They wash away the footprints of those who walk by.

Life is chaos and I don't know about you but I do things--mundane things--to bring order to that chaos. Loading the dishwasher kills the chaos of the kitchen and the mess of feeding the family. Ironing kills the chaos of the wrinkles on the cloths. It puts sharp crisp lines in the pants where wrinkles and muss once were. Getting work off my desk brings order to the chaos of dealing with the mess of employees and humans in general.

Humans create chaos although almost every single one will tell you they hate it. They will tell you--myself included--that they prefer an ordered life and yet we do things that shake up that ordered life.

We have children. There's chaos multiplied. They are messy both physically and emotionally. We have husbands and wives and partners. They are messy. Some take on extra lovers. There's a mess and all the while we keep saying we prefer order. Crazy ain't it?

Life is messy. Life is chaotic. Human need the chaos to thrive. Put an animal in a cage with nothing to do and watch it go slowly crazy. Put a human in a cage with defined structure and order and watch it go crazy. Watch that human do something to create chaos. We aren't wired to do the same thing day in and day out. We need change. We need chaos.

Love is messy but we need it. We crave it. It's probably the most chaotic of all. It makes us crazy. We do things we wouldn't normally do. We fight. We make up after the fight. We do things to pick fights just so we can make up. We laugh and cry and get frustrated enough to chew our shoes. And yet, we look for it over and over as if we keep trying to find the perfect chaos.

We need chaos. But we also need something that gives us the illusion that we are taming that chaos. Conquering that chaos. For me, it's the ocean. It's ironing or cleaning the kitchen or hugging my children or hugging my wife. For those few moments I've killed the chaos monster knowing full well that in the next 2 minutes something will happen and the chaos monster will return.

I'm alive and I know it because chaos makes me feel it. Finding order makes me strong enough to defeat it and face it again.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Ran and Haslam Sitting in a Tree...

They're both jackasses.

Ron is crowing about this

Nothing to crow about.  How many jobs has our legislature created?  What?  I can't hear you.  Oh...NONE.  That's right you jackwagon Ronnnnn....NONE and now you're defunding a program that helps stop creating people who need those jobs YOU'VE DONE NOTHING TO CREATE. 

Tennessee is slipping back to the 50's.  Look out women.  Look out teachers.  Look out people who post pictures to the web.  Big Daddy is watching.


Has Facebook Killed the Blog?

Didn't someone once ask, "Has video killed the radio star?" 

Not really.  Just changed them somehow.  Facebook is more immediate than blogging which may be dangerous.  On facebook, I can easily put my foot in my mouth many times a day because it IS so easy to publish what comes to one's mind.  Here, I have to think about it a little bit which gives my mind's filter time to kick in.

My rant today is brought to you by the sugar cartel.  A wholy owned subsidiary of and heavily subsidized by the federal government entity.

They're fuckers.

They're insidious.

Sugar is everywhere and now that I have to be aware and not put any refined sugar in my body I have to spend precious time looking for it in places that one shouldn't have to look.

For instance (not that I should be eating any of this either) it's in commercially prepared bread only they call it high fructose corn syrup and now they're calling it corn sugar.  Sounds kinda like corn whiskey.  Corn sugar.  Say it with me and see how easily and sweetly it rolls off your tongue...corn sugar.  Whisper it....corn sugar.


It's in hot dog buns, hamburger buns, sliced bread.  Those supposedly healthy high fiber breakfast muffins--loaded with it.  I'm even having to ask in restaurants if they put it in their greens or spaghetti because many southern restaurants do.  I've become sensitive to the taste. 

Commercially prepared meat rubs have it.  Frozen juice concentrates have it.  Aren't fruits sweet enough already?  It's bloody fucking everywhere and it's wrecking my health.  I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.

Read your labels people.  Anything ending is ose is sugar.  It's in McDonald's biscuits for god's sake. 

And I'm pissed that I have to be aware of it now.  Getting older sucks a big one....not that I've ever sucked a big one because that's...well...gross. 

I'm going to cook me a hamburger for breakfast and use my own meat seasoning with no bun and homemade mayonnaise because even bacon has sugar in it.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Touched a Nerve

Apparently I did today.  There was this exchange on Facebook today and I obviously touched a nerve with some of the posters.  It's a little long but worth the read because it gives a real indication of how differently the races feel about what's going on with this Bobo case. 


Don't get me wrong, this is a tragedy but where is the equal outrage and outcry when a minority or a male is taken?  It isn't there.  And for Haslam to toss in 50K towards the reward?  Wow.  Ok, so, I'll grant that the state tossed in money for the Lester Street murders but I'm thinking that was a different case.  Children were murdered--brutally so--in that case.  We're still not sure that Ms. Bobo is dead.  Probably, but we're not sure.

I am struggling with this.  Fortunately, she's a pretty white female so this case will be followed to the end.  No so with victims who are not pretty white females.  If you're black, latino, fat, ugly or male you may as well give it up.  The press will get bored with you long before your case resolves.

And some of the posters call ME racists.  Read below. bob-roadblock,0,4143528.story
‎(Reuters) - Police set five roadblocks on Tuesday to uncover more leads in the nearly week-old disappearance of 20-year-old nursing student Holly Bobo that has shaken her small Tennessee hometown.


    • Meike Kogos A little late for that
      2:50pm (5 hours ago) · · 11 peopleReply

    • Karen Foote Horton I hope and pray that they find her, but it is sounding more like another Natalie Hollaway to me.
      2:52pm (5 hours ago) · · 2 peopleReply

    • Emily Morgan Still prayn for a safe return home!!! And for her family
      2:53pm (5 hours ago) · Reply

    • Sammy Vaughn nice responce time.smh
      2:53pm (5 hours ago) · · 1 personReply
    • Ginger Leonard I have to wonder if this case would be getting so much attention or reward money if the victim was NOT a pretty white female. Just sayin'
      2:55pm (5 hours ago) · · 6 peopleReply

    • Megan Williams Why are they just now doing roadblocks after a week?!?!?
      2:55pm (5 hours ago) · · 3 peopleReply

    • Gwenna Hicks Doty Wow Ginger Why would that make a difference on this???
      2:58pm (5 hours ago) · · 7 peopleReply

    • Kim Weaver Oliver A little late for roadblocks!! I hope and pray they find her soon and she returns home safely!!
      3:03pm (5 hours ago) · · 1 personReply

    • Helen Karl I think they are doing roadblocks to find people that could have passed by the area at the time of the abduction. Really to ask them if there was anything out of the ordinary, or if they noticed anything or anyone. People often follow the same route or routine and the people they are stopping today may be the same people that passed the home last week.
      3:03pm (5 hours ago) · Reply

    • Chris Stephens
      Ginger. i hate that you brought that up and I hate it even more since you appear to be white. The reason this case is geting so much attention is because it's a slow news time AND because it's so weird. News always covers stories that are w...See More
      3:03pm (5 hours ago) · · 6 peopleReply

    • Miriam Ann Deloach i agree Ginger....
      3:05pm (5 hours ago) · · 1 personReply

    • Caleb Shockey ‎@Ginger Leonard,Your an inconsiderate idiot!
      3:09pm (5 hours ago) · · 1 personReply

      3:11pm (5 hours ago) · Reply

    • Caleb Shockey ‎*make
      3:15pm (4 hours ago) · Reply

    • Becky Hooker Gestring
      Really?! There is a girl missing, everyone is doing everything they can to help find her safe, and y'all wanna pull the RACE card!? I believe you fail to see...its not about a skin color, its about a HUMAN BEING! Perhaps you should open you...See More
      3:28pm (4 hours ago) · · 3 peopleReply
    • Ginger Leonard You are correct Becky. There is a girl missing and that's bad but where is this level of coverage when a black female goes missing? Or a male? I hope she's found safe but my wish is that every missing person regardless of race or gender would get this much attention or raise this much reward money. Fact is, it doesn't and that sickens me. Every life should be just as valuable as this one but they aren't.
      3:34pm (4 hours ago) · · 5 peopleReply

    • Kim Cox Come on people.... you know people are going to say stupid things on here to get you all fired up! All you can do is pray for them and THANK God you are NOT like them!
      3:34pm (4 hours ago) · · 2 peopleReply

    • Kristel Ray Metcalf Ginger, why would you make such a racist statement? Color is not the issue here. So sad.
      3:36pm (4 hours ago) · Reply

    • Donnita Blakley
      Once again a imformative site is over shadowed by racist comments this is not about race this is about finding a young women and bringing her home to the people that love and care for her... People please out those silly racist and immature...See More
      3:39pm (4 hours ago) · · 1 personReply
    • Ginger Leonard
      I'm racist? I want every life to be just as important as this one and I'M racist?? Step out from behind your lilly white walls for a moment and take a look at what is going on around you. Minority males and females go missing every day b...See More
      3:44pm (4 hours ago) · · 4 peopleReply

    • Kristel Ray Metcalf Wow, sorry you have so much anger. I will pray for you.
      3:51pm (4 hours ago) · · 1 personReply

    • Tracy Humphrey Crowe LORD HAVE MERCY!!!!!!!!
      3:55pm (4 hours ago) · Reply

    • News Channel 3 Official Fan Page
      ‎@Ginger. We have done numerous stories about missing and murdered minorities. Unfortunately there are cases every day where people disappear but they do not get large scale attention. Right now there are two white teen girls missing but po...See More
      3:59pm (4 hours ago) · · 3 peopleReply

    • LaTonya Anderson-Sullivan I agree with Ginger. Nothing is wrong with what she is saying. EQUALITY FOR ALL!
      4:00pm (4 hours ago) · · 4 peopleReply

    • Lashunda Giles Brooks This is definitely a human.I understand both sides.People in her community are helping each other and most of the time only immediate family helps out. What I am curious to know is why Governor Haslam put so many thousands of dollars into this fund when education is lacking and they say they don't have the money to put into education! He gave $50 grand!WTW!
      4:00pm (4 hours ago) · Reply

    • Courtney Pryor GINGER!! Would you like to know why black people do NOT get attention like white people do?? Because the majority of your color acts like complete idiots and cause themselves to get in that trouble. So why should we put in so much effort to find them if they cause themselves to go missing????
      4:00pm (4 hours ago) · · 1 personReply

    • Miriam Ann Deloach Thank you C. Pryor for proving Gingers point. Thats why people dont want to see both sides because of people like you. Because of your statement now I could careless.
      4:05pm (4 hours ago) · · 1 personReply

    • LaTonya Anderson-Sullivan Courtney since details are so few, how do u know Holly didn't do something to put herself in this situation as u are saying about the majority of blacks.
      4:12pm (4 hours ago) · Reply

    • Courtney Pryor
      If parents would start teaching their children the difference from right and wrong..and how to walk without having to hold the crotch of their pants up to keep them from falling down..white people wouldn't judge black people the way they do...See More
      4:13pm (4 hours ago) · Reply
    • Ginger Leonard ‎@Courtney Pryor: I'm white Courtney.
      4:13pm (4 hours ago) · Reply
    • Ginger Leonard But you've managed to show your true colors Courtney.
      4:14pm (4 hours ago) · Reply

    • Brandy Woodard Toups ‎@ Ginger: I can't comment on why the news would have more coverage over one story versus another. I would, however, like to comment about the reward money. Most reward money is raised by the family/friends and community. Perhaps you should be asking your extremely made in bad taste question to the members of the community the missing people you are concerned for live.
      4:15pm (3 hours ago) · · 1 personReply

    • Miriam Ann Deloach ‎@ Pryor every black person that goes missing isnt ghetto. And Newsflash every black person isnt from the hood.
      4:16pm (3 hours ago) · Reply

    • Courtney Pryor thats why i said the majority!!
      4:16pm (3 hours ago) · Reply
    • Ginger Leonard Brandy...Haslam tossed in 50K. That didn't come from the family or the community.
      4:16pm (3 hours ago) · Reply
    • Ginger Leonard That came from the governor either from his pocket or the state's pocket which translates to tax payers.
      4:17pm (3 hours ago) · Reply

    • Courtney Pryor who cares where the money came from and how much it was and who pays for it. You as a taxpayer support convicted murderers for years that are on death row. Why not put some money toward trying to find someone who may still be alive??
      4:18pm (3 hours ago) · Reply

    • News Channel 3 Official Fan Page Let's keep this civil please. At the moment, we are talking about a young woman who is missing. I appreciate your passion on both sides but please keep it civil.. thank you
      4:20pm (3 hours ago) · · 3 peopleReply
    • Ginger Leonard I don't have a problem with the state tossing in 50K if the state is going to toss it in FOR EVERY MISSING PERSON. But they don't and that's where I have a problem.
      4:21pm (3 hours ago) · · 2 peopleReply

    • Justin Harrison Kinda too late for road blocks. Just sayn.
      4:31pm (3 hours ago) · Reply

    • LaTonya Anderson-Sullivan Courtney, also to answer ur question. U should put energy into finding everyone because we all are God's people. I'm glad he is a God that let's his sun shine on the rightous as well as the unrightous. Ultimately, its not ur decision. Despite what u, u or u say, God knows ur true heart condition!
      4:38pm (3 hours ago) · · 3 peopleReply

    • Tiffany Newman Crider Instead of being negative, go help search. The negative is the not needed at a time like this. I've helped, and the family needs ONLY positive things being said.
      4:45pm (3 hours ago) · · 2 peopleReply

    • Danny G Mcclure
      Society is so screwed up now days,so what if shes white,everyone yells racism if the person is white,but never hear it if they are black,its not a crime to be white these days,im so sick of hearing whites are the racist,it goes both ways,bl...See More
      5:54pm (2 hours ago) · Reply

    • Tina Burden Thompson
      Ah yes....this argument. The inequality divide that always raises it's ugly head in this part of the country. Ever think that maybe, just MAYBE the reason this case is getting so much attention is because 1) it was in a small, tight knit, r...See More
      6:28pm (about an hour ago) · · 2 peopleReply

    • Towers Chelsea
      Well said Tiffany. For the other comments somethings are better left unsaid. No one mentioned getting a search crew together and if it's not bout helping this family found their precious daughter keep your comments to yourself. Have some...See More
      6:28pm (about an hour ago) · · 3 peopleReply

    • Becky Hooker Gestring While I don't totally agree with Ginger....Courtney, THAT statement was so uncalled for and just plain wrong! No one and I mean no one deserves what is happening to this poor girl.
      6:48pm (about an hour ago) · · 3 peopleReply

Sunday, February 6, 2011


I'm about tired of this cold weather.  Don't get me wrong, I love snow but I need the sunshine.  I need to feel it on my face or I begin to get really cranky.  Some would ask how to tell the difference between my sunny mood and my cloudy mood.  Phooey.  I know the difference. 

I don't know if it's the weather, winter in general or just stuff going on around the house that's causing my "loose ends" feeling.  There's some pressure here.  Financial.  Emotional.  Spiritual. 

I have a great family but we're an intense family and that is sometimes exhausting.  I'm the oldest child.  The hero child.  I tend to take on the burden of the world and carry it all the while ignoring the hernia it's giving me.  But here's the deal....there isn't much I can pass off here. 

I have a spouse who just had her knee replacement replaced.  Who started having seizures after the first replacement but who, by the grace of all that's holy, has been spared seizures this time.  She's also been diagnosed with early onset dementia.  I can see a difference.  I believe we've lost friends over it.  Friends who I thought would be there no matter what.  Friends who if we don't make contact, we would no longer hear from.  That's been an eye-opener and it's shown us who we really can count on and that's been a shocker because they aren't who I thought they would be but they have proven over and over that they will step up.

I have one son in college.  I want to give him the best college experience.  I want him to live on campus and have that experience and not have to worry about money because I didn't have that.  But honest to God, I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it.  I'm just flying by the seat of my pants on that one.  It'll fall out where it falls out.  Some would chastise me for buying our RV but you know what?  How could I not when I have no idea how long my spouse will remember me or that we have one or will be able to travel.  Listen folks, live in the moment because the future ain't guaranteed.  So when I'm sending money to college and bitching about the expense of travel, I remember that she remembers still which takes the sting out.

I have another son who has some learning challenges and some emotional challenges.  There is a diagnosis which will not be named here.  Just know it's one that causes some tense moments in this house and at school.  He's brilliant.  Both sons are.  But he's also intense and moody and creative but is struggling to harness that brillance and turn it into doing homework.  He takes everything personally and internalizes and agonizes over it.  I worry about him.

And then there's work.  It used to be fun.  At the end of the day, I could always say I'd accomplished what I needed to do that day.  Not anymore.  It never lets up.  The whole atmosphere has changed.  It's not fun and it's taking a toll on me.  I am eligible to retire in 4 years.  Depending on what's happening there and at home...well, who knows what I'll do.

I'm bitching.  It's the weather.  I need sunlight which just proves that I'm no vampire.  You laugh.  I've been accused.  And for all of my ranting, we really do have it pretty good.  There's a freezer full of deer meat because we have good friends who love to hunt and are good at it.  We're working with another friend to put in our own vegetable garden so we'll have hormone free, chemical free, not genetically modified veggies for the coming year.  We have a house, transportation and can pay the utilities.  Some don't.

And we have Molly's once a week if we're lucky.

My life isn't as bad as I make it out to be.  It does get overwhelming sometimes.


Friday, January 7, 2011

Trip to Fort Pickens State Park for Christmas

Just a few pics to share.

Beautiful and peaceful.

Not a Politics Expert

...but I recognize bullshit when I step in it and Pickler is spreading bullshit everywhere.  I have a garden area that needs some of what he's dishing out.  Seriously, does he really believe that we need two functioning school systems?  I bet he doesn't, honestly.  But that lilly white boy doesn't have the first clue about how to deal with those frightening dark people that are about to come his way.


I call COWARD and RACIST and BIGOT and whatever other name I can think of to call him.


I'd also like to ask him how that foot tastes and offer up some A-1.  A-1 make feet and bullshit taste better.