Saturday, March 1, 2008

Home Improvement

OK, so I sold the MG. It now appears that I have replaced one addiction with another. Home improvement. It never ends. It's this insidious evil all encompassing gnome that has somehow taken over. A little over a week ago it was the roof. We're still waiting on it to rain so we can see if we've plugged the leaks. This weekend it's the railings on the front porch.

We go to Lowe's and spend 2 hours picking out the material. I come home and spend an hour just measuring and cutting one post and one rail. Know why?


I'm talking about the angles on my front porch. We can talk about the people later. Anyway, I'm trying to mount the brackets that will hold the railing to the brick pillars and can't get a hole drilled into the brick. I was able to drill into the concrete on the porch but not the bricks. I'm going to have to rent a hammer drill tomorrow. So, not to be thwarted, I decide to dig the holes and set the posts for the end of the stair railings. Dig dig dig 18" into the ground and a 2" root/limb later I have a hole. I put the post in it and fill the effer twice with dirt, tamp, dirt, tamp and still can't get it tight. Tomorrow when I rent that hammer drill I'm going to have to get some concrete.

I went ahead and cut the railing for the other side of the porch. I suppose I could have cut the railings going down the steps but made the mistake of sitting down and drinking a glass of water. And then tried to stand up.

Gawd. I really must stop doing this to myself. My legs were calling me all kinds of names and none of them nice. My back was standing behind my legs going, "Yeah, what they said!"

I won't let this break me though. I'll tilt with this windmill and win only because I'm just stubborn enough. According to my doctor I'm a short fat middle-aged chick who needs to start paying attention to my health. No sugar. No white flour. No potatoes or rice. Notice she didn't mention no physical labor. At no time did she tell me not to do these confounded home improvement projects.

Sadist. Or am I the masochist? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just in a state of denial about my physical abilities at this stage in my life. Doesn't matter. I'm still going to finish that porch railing tomorrow. I may have to call the paramedics Monday but that's ok. They can come over and admire my new railing as they're hauling my fat tired ass to the ER.