Thursday, July 10, 2008

I Felt Fear Yesterday

I read my SO's blog post...well, one of them, and felt fear for the first time since her diagnosis. She talked about how she's losing ground and must leave the boys to fend for themselves during the day. She talked about not being able to hold a thought after getting the boys to camp and Kendo practice. She talked about sleeping more. And I've noticed that she's eating more. I wonder if her brain thing has something to do with both of those.

For the first time, I had a brief glimpse of what my future possible holds. A partner that can't take care of herself.

And then she leaves me a voicemail talking about how she had to go to one of her volunteer positions and begin coordinating the Arts and Crafts fair. I'm confused. This disease is confusing and horrifying.

On top of all this, for the first time EVER, I had a tiny anxiety attack when I walked into the office. I work for an acting Manager that knows NOTHING about the department he's been put over. Who does NOTHING to help with the work load. Who has NO idea what he's doing and can 't make a decision on his own to save his life. I bet he can't go to the bathroom without calling the VP to ask how to do it.

I was ready to quit.

Thankfully, it passed. Hopefully, things will change soon.