New Website

http://playhousestories.blogspot.com

 

In case anyone is interested.

It's been hot

And I feel guilty for not being busy outside.  Go figure.  Actually, I've felt this need to be outside for whatever reason.  I'm feeling closed in if I'm inside 6 walls.  I'm not sure what that's about.

I had a tarot reading not long ago that said money was coming and things were changing at work.  Not sure if they're related and not sure if my need to be outside is related to that.  Maybe the change at work is because I'm feeling squeezed where I am and I'm about to burst out.

Like the Hulk.

Only not turning green.

Maybe like the catepillar and the butterfly.

Change is coming, I feel it.

Happy New Year

Well, so far, it's been uneventful which is exactly how I like it.  Last year was a mess.  An emotional roller coaster that wore me the fuck OUT.  I'm not looking for a repeat.  

 

I've been reading all of the New Year's Resolutions that people are making.  "I resolve to lose weight or I resolve to eat less sugar or I resolve to...blah blah blah.  My resolution?  I resolve to be a grumpy hardass on only the days ending in Y.  How's that?  I'm pretty sure I can keep that one.  There are some I'd like to give a go at such as not eating sugar and refined white flour and white rice.  I'll give a go at not yelling at my children or spouse.  I'll give a go at have more compassion at work which means I'll be sympathetic when I fire someone.  I'll still fire them but I'll have feelings about it.  I'll give a go at not worrying about money and bills.  There is no debtors prison anymore so what's the worst that can happen?  I know how to live in a tent.

Moving on....

My horoscope for this year keeps talking about movement in my career.  Whatever.  Not seeing that happen because that would require that some people in my group leave and I don't see that happening for a long time soooooooooo.....

Anyway, it's a new year.  I have good friends and a good family.  My boys aren't in jail and haven't gotten anybody pregnant so I'm grateful for that.  I have a spouse that is still managing to run the household and do meaningful volunteer work which is remarkable.  All in all, I'm pretty happy even though I don't wear that happiness on my shirt sleeve.  No, that spot on my shirt sleeve is probably hotwing sauce.

I do have one wish and that is to be funny.  Making people laugh is a good thing.  I'll work on that.  On days ending in Y.  Those Y days are filling up with busy work already.  Jeez

Huh

That's just how this day feels.  So far, anyway.  It's early.

I have managed to finish painting the back of the house.  Now, that doesn't mean the eaves, just the main part of the siding and I have no intentions of apologizing for not painting the eaves.  Who looks at them anyway?  All that's left is the front part of the house then to tidy up the trim because let's just face it.  I was a little sloppy.  You would be too up on a 24' rickety aluminum ladder.  I inherited it somehow.  I don't even remember how I got it.  Doesn't matter because I need a new sturdier one to be safe. 

More ramble.

I think that tonight I'll light a fire in the firepit and watch what we call camp tv.  Why is fire so mesmerizing?  it's almost hypnotic.  Maybe it's the constant movement of the flames.  Maybe it's the color.  Maybe it's the heat.  Maybe it's what it represents to our deep, evolving psyche.  Fire helped to civilize us.  Or so we're taught.  I wonder sometimes if we're civilized yet.  Look at what we do to each other and are doing to our planet.  That's not civilized. 

What IS civilized anyway?  Using the proper fork?  Maybe.  Or maybe that's just manners and we should never mistake one for the other.  Hitler knew which was the appetizer fork and yet look what he did to his fellow humans. 

Civilized.  According to webster,

adjective  

1.

having an advanced or humane  culture, society, etc. (There's your arts, music, proper fork and knife and books)

2.

polite; well-bred; refined.  (Soooooo, bubba swamp person can't be civilized?  Hardly.)

3.

of or pertaining to civilized people: The civilized world must fight ignorance.  (Ignorance of what?  To listen to some politicians, half the population is ignorant and must be told what to think and how to act.  God KNOWS that women are incapable of making their own decisions about their own bodies and God FORBID that we should hold the men just as responsible.  Unless I'm mistaken, there is only one virgin pregnancy.  Takes sperm to fertilize that egg so why aren't we screaming at the men and boys to wrap that thing up and be responsible?  Because, people, everybody knows that women are the most powerful beings on the planet.  One flash of poonany and men just lose their minds.  They kill for it.  They compromise their careers for it.  They destroy nations for it.  They write books and music and plays and movies about it.  They can't control themselves because of it.  Ladies...we should harness this power.  Let's meet later over coffee and discuss it.  Men.  Ignorant fools.)

4.easy to manage or control; well organized or ordered: The car is quiet and civilized, even in sharp turns. (Well look at that.  "Easy to manage or control."  "Well organized or ordered."  This may be why the Occupy folks scare so many civilized people.  This may be why they have some politicians and rich bankers upset.  They're.....say it.............unCIVILIZED........gasp.  I'll bet that many in that group know what fork to use, are polite, well-bred--whatever THAT means-- and refined--whatever THAT means.  And still, they are uncivilized, according to some.  They are shaking and questioning the status quo.  They are not easy to manage.  They are not well organized (though some are getting better at it) and they are not ordered.  Chaos.  Chaos scares us because it's uncivilized.)

We kill each other.  Steal food from each other.  Subjugate each other and yet we have the audacity to call ourselves civilized.

 

Thanks.  I'll pass.  I can do without the culture and refinement if that's what makes me fit society's idea of civilized, if that's what lumps me in with those who are wreaking havoc on this planet and those who live on it.

 

Give me a fire and turkey leg and I'm happy.

Florida Bound

Seems like forever since we were there last but it's been only since March. Time for me to recharge again. I am drawn inexplicably to the ocean. I think it's the sensations of the sound and wind and rocking of the water, the rhythmic crashing of the waves and how they make smooth the roughness of the sand. In some ways they bring order to the chaos of the tiny grains. They wash away the footprints of those who walk by.

Life is chaos and I don't know about you but I do things--mundane things--to bring order to that chaos. Loading the dishwasher kills the chaos of the kitchen and the mess of feeding the family. Ironing kills the chaos of the wrinkles on the cloths. It puts sharp crisp lines in the pants where wrinkles and muss once were. Getting work off my desk brings order to the chaos of dealing with the mess of employees and humans in general.

Humans create chaos although almost every single one will tell you they hate it. They will tell you--myself included--that they prefer an ordered life and yet we do things that shake up that ordered life.

We have children. There's chaos multiplied. They are messy both physically and emotionally. We have husbands and wives and partners. They are messy. Some take on extra lovers. There's a mess and all the while we keep saying we prefer order. Crazy ain't it?

Life is messy. Life is chaotic. Human need the chaos to thrive. Put an animal in a cage with nothing to do and watch it go slowly crazy. Put a human in a cage with defined structure and order and watch it go crazy. Watch that human do something to create chaos. We aren't wired to do the same thing day in and day out. We need change. We need chaos.

Love is messy but we need it. We crave it. It's probably the most chaotic of all. It makes us crazy. We do things we wouldn't normally do. We fight. We make up after the fight. We do things to pick fights just so we can make up. We laugh and cry and get frustrated enough to chew our shoes. And yet, we look for it over and over as if we keep trying to find the perfect chaos.

We need chaos. But we also need something that gives us the illusion that we are taming that chaos. Conquering that chaos. For me, it's the ocean. It's ironing or cleaning the kitchen or hugging my children or hugging my wife. For those few moments I've killed the chaos monster knowing full well that in the next 2 minutes something will happen and the chaos monster will return.

I'm alive and I know it because chaos makes me feel it. Finding order makes me strong enough to defeat it and face it again.

Ran and Haslam Sitting in a Tree...

They're both jackasses.

Ron is crowing about this

http://www.tennessean.com/article/20110611/NEWS/306110040/TN-Planned-Parenthood-chapters-stripped-federal-funding

Nothing to crow about.  How many jobs has our legislature created?  What?  I can't hear you.  Oh...NONE.  That's right you jackwagon Ronnnnn....NONE and now you're defunding a program that helps stop creating people who need those jobs YOU'VE DONE NOTHING TO CREATE. 

Tennessee is slipping back to the 50's.  Look out women.  Look out teachers.  Look out people who post pictures to the web.  Big Daddy is watching.

Fuckers.

Has Facebook Killed the Blog?

Didn't someone once ask, "Has video killed the radio star?" 

Not really.  Just changed them somehow.  Facebook is more immediate than blogging which may be dangerous.  On facebook, I can easily put my foot in my mouth many times a day because it IS so easy to publish what comes to one's mind.  Here, I have to think about it a little bit which gives my mind's filter time to kick in.

My rant today is brought to you by the sugar cartel.  A wholy owned subsidiary of and heavily subsidized by the federal government entity.

They're fuckers.

They're insidious.

Sugar is everywhere and now that I have to be aware and not put any refined sugar in my body I have to spend precious time looking for it in places that one shouldn't have to look.

For instance (not that I should be eating any of this either) it's in commercially prepared bread only they call it high fructose corn syrup and now they're calling it corn sugar.  Sounds kinda like corn whiskey.  Corn sugar.  Say it with me and see how easily and sweetly it rolls off your tongue...corn sugar.  Whisper it....corn sugar.

Bastards.

It's in hot dog buns, hamburger buns, sliced bread.  Those supposedly healthy high fiber breakfast muffins--loaded with it.  I'm even having to ask in restaurants if they put it in their greens or spaghetti because many southern restaurants do.  I've become sensitive to the taste. 

Commercially prepared meat rubs have it.  Frozen juice concentrates have it.  Aren't fruits sweet enough already?  It's bloody fucking everywhere and it's wrecking my health.  I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.

Read your labels people.  Anything ending is ose is sugar.  It's in McDonald's biscuits for god's sake. 

And I'm pissed that I have to be aware of it now.  Getting older sucks a big one....not that I've ever sucked a big one because that's...well...gross. 

I'm going to cook me a hamburger for breakfast and use my own meat seasoning with no bun and homemade mayonnaise because even bacon has sugar in it.

Ugh