Thursday, November 8, 2012

Good Grief

Apparently, my emotional shit storm isn't over.  I had an experience this last Saturday and it's awakened something in me, or at the very least made me aware of something I have probably had all along but didn't trust it, believe it, know it....pick one.

I was sitting on the futon this morning and just suddenly started crying.  That's not me.  That's someone else, only I don't know who....well, maybe I do.  

I was told once that in most of my past lives, I've been a healer.  I believe I am in this life too.  I look back and see how many people would come to me just to talk and whatever words I found seemed to help them--even when the words weren't all that nice.  

It happens at work too.  I have a big white chair in my office and I'll have a parade of people come sit in it and the next thing I know, I know their life story or I know their most recent emotional injury and when they leave, they tell me they feel better.  Go figure because I'm not really a warm and fuzzy personality.

I know I've had people come to me just because of how I hug them.  Bear hug, not this cheek to cheek shit.  Hugs heal.

I've had people call me and ask me to just talk them to sleep.  I know what you're thinking--"It's because you bore them into sleep."  To you, I'd say, "Bite me."  I believe it's part of my gift.

So, whatever messages, images, thoughts or feelings I'm now aware of are meant to heal.  I  just have to figure out how to use it and on whom.  I also have to find a teacher because if I don't learn how to control this, my head will fly apart.

Welcome to midlife.

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