Journey

 

I've started a journey.  I finally reached a point in which I was uncomfortable enough to do something about my weight so I started Weight Watchers.  After seeing how well my co-worker has done I figured it would work for me.

Apparently I was right because I see results on the scales.  I started at 224.5 and am now at 214.2.  I need to see change and I am or I get discouraged and quit.

It's also started an emotional purging.  I'm releasing old regrets, old memories. people, anything that is bad for me.  While this is a good thing, it's hard because those old regrets and memories had become like armor for me and to be stripping those away--well, it leaves me vulnerable, open and raw and in a state which would allow me to be easily taken advantage of so I have to stay on heightened alert which is exhausting.

It's necessary though.  I've written down feelings and regrets that I need to let go and have burned them.  I've done some other things to help release what I need to release.  And after doing that I feel freer but have to remain vigilant so that they don't creep back in.

It's a work in progress.  Hang with me through this.