Thursday, November 6, 2008

I Have an Anger, a Resentment and a Sadness

Our homeschooling days are coming to an end. Because of my SO's disease, she can no longer homeschool our boys. That saddens and angers me. This disease is slowly eroding our way of life. It's taking away some of our freedoms. Because we are having to put the boys in school, we will no longer get to make our annual trip to Florida. That really saddens me. The death of a tradition.

I hate this disease. I hate what it's doing to my family. I hate that science doesn't seem to be working very hard to cure this or prevent it.

I'm angry for my children because their lives are being profoundly impacted now. They must go to school and will not be thrust into situations that we'd hoped to keep them out of. They are losing their educational freedom and to some extent their innocense.

I'm just angry. I'm resentful. I'm sad both for my SO and me and for my children. They are frightened and I there's nothing I can do to fix that for them. They are angry. I can't fix that either. I can only support them.

I'm angry for the disruption this is causing my family. I can't fix that right now either.

Today is my oldest's first day at MASE. He is no longer a homeschooler. He is being pushed into a setting that nearly makes him sick at his stomach. I can't fix that either.

I can't fix any of this and that makes the angriest of all.

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