Monday, May 19, 2008

Sometimes you just don't know what to say.

I'm looking around the house and for the most part, we've done the projects that we can reasonably and financially do right now. It's time to take a look at the backyard. We have some really good friends who called and offered up a bunch of paving stones that they no longer want. They're very generous and quick to help us when we ask. The only problem is that they're too stubborn to ask for our help. I thump them from time to time. It doesn't help.

We went over yesterday and pulled some of them up. It loaded my truck DOWN. There's at least another truckload which we'll get either this weekend or one day after I get off work.

Friends are important. We sometimes take them for granted. And I mean the collective "we". I was having a chat with my oldest yesterday, trying to figure out why he's angry. He says he's angry about his friends. I'll admit that all of his good friends have ended up moving away all through his lifetime. His friend on this street moved away. His best friend in Oklahoma. Another good friend and then one he made when they moved back here. He's closed himself up over it. I told him that having friends takes work. That he has to reach out and make an effort. He says, "Well, they don't." OK, maybe they don't but that doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't.

I had to listen to what I was telling him. Relationships take work. Home. At work. Everywhere. Professionally. I had to think about who my friends were and if I was putting the right amount of energy into the relationships that I had. We should probably take that inventory on a regular basis because before you know it, a year has passed and you haven't talked to some of the people who populate your "friends" list.

He had to. He also had to take a deep breath and reach out to one of them. That was a big step for him. Especially knowing that this friend may very well end up moving to Japan. Breaks my heart for him. Nothing I can do about it though. Just like nothing I could do about his experience with the coffee shop down the street. And don't for one minute think that I don't think about firebombing the place. Makes for nice fantasy but it'll never happen. (That's for all you government email snoops)

I appreciate my friends. They are a good support system especially in trying times and believe me, I'm seeing a few of those right now.

This too shall pass, so they say. It's not finding a cure for dementia but it makes the wait a little easier to stomach. It doesn't get my partner of 20 years on my insurance but it gives me a place to rant.

Just a little "thanks" to those whom I choose to call my friends.


Anonymous said...

I'm proud to call you my friend, and I respect and admire you in more ways than you'll ever know.


Diane Thornton said...

As always, compelling and oddly compassionate. Raising children is not for wimps or those who want to be popular. We start at home and we work hard to make decent citizens. I wish more parents cared as passionately as you do. Just because we homeschool doesn't mean we don't have concern for those who can't or don't.