Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My goodness, it's been a wild week.

My SO went in for knee surgery and decided to start having seizures.  She ended up in ICU for a couple of days.  It was very unsettling.  You go in for what has become a relatively routine procedure and this happens.  There's no really good way to prepare emotionally.  I learned something that I'd like to pass on.

1.  Make sure you have medical power of attorney if you aren't legally married.  I had to sign a consent form and couldn't have done it without that piece of paper.
2.  Make sure you have a signed and witness directive in case something happens.
3.  Make sure you have a Will.

I know, none of that is pleasant to think about or even do but it's necessary especially for those of us who aren't legally married or considered next of kin.  I'm lucky.  The hospital staff was brilliant in that area.  They never batted an eye.  There was never a question that I was supposed to be there.  Maybe they go through training or maybe it's just a sign of the times but they were brilliant.

4.  Be on good terms with the SO's parents.

I can't stress this enough.  I am so grateful that Diane's mom came to help.  She's been a godsend.  My parents offered and I'm grateful for that but it's just not the same as having your own Mother with you.  Oh, that brings up...

5.  The patient should be on good terms with and actually like her own parents.  Because she's going to be here for a while and taking care of you while I'm at work and starting Thursday, out of town.  It would suck to not like your mother.

The boys stepped up and did well although the youngest neglected his homework for a few days and has now had to play catch up.  His teachers were wonderful though.  They understood why we kept them out of classes for two days and have let them make whatever work they missed up.  I'm grateful for that.  We had friends step up and be there.  Beautiful, wonderful friends.  I'm grateful for that and am awed at how quickly they rallied around.

There's a saying in AA.  "Get Grateful."  I got it.  I am.  I've learned what is important and what isn't.  Work can go to hell.  I don't NEED that promotion.  I might want it but don't need it.  I NEED my family to stay intact.  I NEED my SO to get and stay healthy for a long time.  I NEED my kids to mature into brilliant, caring adults.  I NEED air to breathe, good sleep, food and water.   I NEED good, supportive friends.  I NEED good, supportive family members--parents and siblings. 

I look at what I need and realize that I have it.  The rest is fluff.

1 comment:

Diane said...

You are my hero. Glad we had those papers. Sorry for all the sleepless nights and anxiety. Never could have gotten thought it without you.