Dealing with my bi-polar 15 year old is a test. I recognize that. What I don't understand is why the gods feel the need to test me in this way. Is it to see just how far I can be pushed before I snap and end up in the psych ward? Is it some form of punishment for something I've done in one of my past lives?
Not only is he 15, a teenager, with raging hormones, he's bi-polar which makes the raging hormones look like cake. There have been days when it took every ounce of control that I had not to hurt him.
It started already this morning. First thing, there's a fight over homework and electronics. I'm ready to take them all away from him until school is out for the summer. It's exhausting and tests my ability to continue loving him when he acts like this. It feels like it's getting worse, his behavior. And when he comes in after one of the fights to apologize and make nice, it feels fake and usually is because when he asks to get his computer back or his game back and I tell him no, he blows up again. It's like living in an abusive relationship. It is abusive. One never knows how he will react when told to do something.
I'm reaching a breaking point and it scares me.