Finally
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Ramblings on an Early Saturday Morning
For the three people that read this blog, go to Big Scoop today. It's at the Redbirds Stadium. It's a good excuse to go eat all the ice cream you can stand AND raise money for a good cause. It benefits the Ronald McDonald House of Memphis. And to toot my own horn for a moment, I'm on the Board there and have been for many years. So many that I've lost count. It's a beautiful place and it's mission is amazing. Families whose lives have been torn apart by a severe medical diagnosis for one of their children shouldn't have to worry about where they will live or survive while their child is here for treatment. Suddenly, sometimes within hours, they must leave their home and travel to a strange city for treatment at St. Jude's.
That's where the House comes in. We house the families for free. They don't have to pay for a thing while they are here. All they have to do is take care of their sick child and that child's siblings so that not only will the sick child heal but so will the entire family. We are not totally supported by McDonalds the way Target House is supported by Target or the Grizzlies House is supported by the Grizzlies. We rely on donations from regular people. Every nickle, dime and dollar is needed to make that House run. So, go eat ice cream and raise money for a beautiful cause. If you don't want to eat ice cream at least get involved. There are other things you can do. Donate a dollar or a thousand. Volunteer. Work another event. Buy tickets for Oscar Night. Donate during the Radiothon. Visit the House. It will touch you and change you. It did me.
It takes everybody no matter their status. I had a weak moment in which I thought that I didn't fit anymore. I was not so gently reminded that it DOES take everybody no matter their status. You can save your change. Save your pull tabs. Donate $5 a month for $500 a month. JUST GET INVOLVED.
That's where the House comes in. We house the families for free. They don't have to pay for a thing while they are here. All they have to do is take care of their sick child and that child's siblings so that not only will the sick child heal but so will the entire family. We are not totally supported by McDonalds the way Target House is supported by Target or the Grizzlies House is supported by the Grizzlies. We rely on donations from regular people. Every nickle, dime and dollar is needed to make that House run. So, go eat ice cream and raise money for a beautiful cause. If you don't want to eat ice cream at least get involved. There are other things you can do. Donate a dollar or a thousand. Volunteer. Work another event. Buy tickets for Oscar Night. Donate during the Radiothon. Visit the House. It will touch you and change you. It did me.
It takes everybody no matter their status. I had a weak moment in which I thought that I didn't fit anymore. I was not so gently reminded that it DOES take everybody no matter their status. You can save your change. Save your pull tabs. Donate $5 a month for $500 a month. JUST GET INVOLVED.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Same Child, Next Day
Remember the child I was lamenting about just a few days ago? Yesterday? Good as gold. Did everything I asked when I asked with no arguments or episodes of rage. Unbelievable. I suppose this is what it's like to live with a bi-polar child. If I had this child everyday, life would be grand. He's been beautiful, helpful, caring, considerate and cooperative.
We'll see what he's like today.
We'll see what he's like today.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
God Grant Me the Patience
Dealing with my bi-polar 15 year old is a test. I recognize that. What I don't understand is why the gods feel the need to test me in this way. Is it to see just how far I can be pushed before I snap and end up in the psych ward? Is it some form of punishment for something I've done in one of my past lives?
Not only is he 15, a teenager, with raging hormones, he's bi-polar which makes the raging hormones look like cake. There have been days when it took every ounce of control that I had not to hurt him.
It started already this morning. First thing, there's a fight over homework and electronics. I'm ready to take them all away from him until school is out for the summer. It's exhausting and tests my ability to continue loving him when he acts like this. It feels like it's getting worse, his behavior. And when he comes in after one of the fights to apologize and make nice, it feels fake and usually is because when he asks to get his computer back or his game back and I tell him no, he blows up again. It's like living in an abusive relationship. It is abusive. One never knows how he will react when told to do something.
I'm reaching a breaking point and it scares me.
Not only is he 15, a teenager, with raging hormones, he's bi-polar which makes the raging hormones look like cake. There have been days when it took every ounce of control that I had not to hurt him.
It started already this morning. First thing, there's a fight over homework and electronics. I'm ready to take them all away from him until school is out for the summer. It's exhausting and tests my ability to continue loving him when he acts like this. It feels like it's getting worse, his behavior. And when he comes in after one of the fights to apologize and make nice, it feels fake and usually is because when he asks to get his computer back or his game back and I tell him no, he blows up again. It's like living in an abusive relationship. It is abusive. One never knows how he will react when told to do something.
I'm reaching a breaking point and it scares me.
Friday, September 11, 2009
September and Florida
Oh my gosh, this will be the first September in 17 years that we aren't spending it at the beach. We made the choice to put both boys in school which took away the freedom to go play for a month. I'm going through withdrawals already. I have some sand and shells at work that I will put out on my table so I can at least put my fingers in it. I'll have to find some records of the ocean to play.
The beach is always a place for me to recharge my batteries, as it were, and god knows after the last few months at work, I need recharging. Decisions there have been made that feel like betrayal to me. I feel like my support from my management has been yanked out from under me and I can't get anybody to shoot straight with me about why.
An employee was chosen to lead the department I'm in who has only 4 years as a professional, who has two managers that have complained TO ME about her work ethic, attendance, attitude and how she treats other people, and no leadership experience. And now, that same employee has been nominated to attend a managerial executive development program. I was not and yet I've been through the supervisory program. She hasn't. I'm not seeing the fairness in this. I'm not seeing the logic. I'm not seeing the rightness.
She is black. I am white. One wonders.
And yet....and yet....and yet.....I'm asked to do the investigations. I am requested specifically by other departments. I am given the large assignments. Why? I would assume it's because I am competent and have demonstrated that.
One wonders.
I need the beach.
I need the truth.
I can handle the truth.
The beach is always a place for me to recharge my batteries, as it were, and god knows after the last few months at work, I need recharging. Decisions there have been made that feel like betrayal to me. I feel like my support from my management has been yanked out from under me and I can't get anybody to shoot straight with me about why.
An employee was chosen to lead the department I'm in who has only 4 years as a professional, who has two managers that have complained TO ME about her work ethic, attendance, attitude and how she treats other people, and no leadership experience. And now, that same employee has been nominated to attend a managerial executive development program. I was not and yet I've been through the supervisory program. She hasn't. I'm not seeing the fairness in this. I'm not seeing the logic. I'm not seeing the rightness.
She is black. I am white. One wonders.
And yet....and yet....and yet.....I'm asked to do the investigations. I am requested specifically by other departments. I am given the large assignments. Why? I would assume it's because I am competent and have demonstrated that.
One wonders.
I need the beach.
I need the truth.
I can handle the truth.
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