On Turning 50

I just did it.  People ask me how it feels and all I can say is it feels the same as yesterday but not as good as tomorrow.  Nothing to it.  The only thing I need to change is exercise.  I don't get nearly enough of it and that's my fault.  I must get back on that elliptical.  We're also looking at bicycles which I think I can do.  Walking aggravates my back which is a product of my ample stomach.

Anyway, back to 50.  I had a small party which I didn't want and will freely admit that but am happy that I have friends who insisted.  It was nice.  Intimate.  Surrounded by people who I consider my truest friends who could be here.  I have some who live far away and couldn't make it.  One sent me a fabulous, beautiful bottle of tequila.  And it's delicious.  I had to taste it.

All in all, it's been a good time.  I'm not skeered of aging.  Several of my friends who are already over 50 have told me that it only gets better.  I believe them and am looking forward to this decade.  I wonder what changes and/or advances we'll see.  I wonder if the collective consciousness will become aware of the need for each of us to care about our neighbor.  I wonder if we'll see peace and sane prosperity.  I just wonder.  50 is cool.

Sunday

Was beautiful.  I got out and cleaned up some leaves and a pile of sticks and tree limbs that we've been collecting with the intention of burning them in the firepit in the backyard.  Didn't happen so I just hauled them to the street.

I mowed the backyard with a weedeater.  It's not that large obviously.  What amazes me about that backyard, though, it just how much yard trash it generates.  Good god, it never stops.  Sticks, leaves, just tree crap everywhere.

I was going to try and get my motorcycle started.  Something's wrong with the float.  I didn't find that out soon enough today to work on it.  Guess it'll have to wait until next weekend.  I can't afford a mechanic right now so I'm going to have to feel my way through it.

There's still work to be done on the house.  I'm beginning to feel overwhelmed by the thought.  I don't know how to do it all which bothers me.  I have some roofing work to do, rerouting of the water heater vent, painting, jacking up the house.  You know, general home owner shit.

Perhaps I should sell and live in the RV. 

Spring has Sprung

...all over the place. I've washed pollen off every horizontal surface I have and that includes indoors. We have an attic fan that we run. It's huge which means it sucks in all sorts of things through the window screens.

We've had our first baby visitor. Our lovely newest cat decided to bring us a screaming baby bird the other night. Thank goodness he has sense enough to take it to the bathroom. I still haven't decided why they've made that the killing room. Fortunately, the baby bird was alive and well when I retrieved it from the cat's mouth. I took it outside and put it where I thought it would be safe and where its mother could find it. I'm trying hard not to think about what happened after that. I will always believe that it's safe and growing.

We went to the Jimmy Buffet concert in Dallas last weekend. My first Buffet experience and I must say it was a grand one. RV's everywhere. People everywhere. Costumes and booze EVERYWHERE. One guy even brought a hot tub on a flatbed trailer. Wow. We're going back next year.

I"ve got to get my bike running. It's time to get back on it. It calms me. Better than a therapist or drugs. I can't explain it. One would have to ride to understand and I recommend that everyone buy a motorcycle and ride ride ride. It's awesome.

Nothing of much substance here. My SO is maintaining although I'm noticing that she's tiring much more quickly. I'm still holing out hope for a cure soon or at least a better treatment regimen.

Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009

It ain't about looks. You have to watch this.

You really have to check this out

It's a musical treat.

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=2539741

Evolution

I was reading the posts of some of my friends on Facebook and one had put this up there:

"Mary Antin, 1912: We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later; and the birth and growth of the spirit, in those who are attentive to their own inner life, are slow and exceedingly painful..."

it caught my attention.  I'd received an email from a friend that I'd made several years ago during a time when my spirit was in a period of evolution.  My growth of spirit caused some painful changes in the relationship I was in.  My spirit needed to grow and couldn't do it in the shell of the relationship I was in at that time. 

It needed to expand so for a time, that relationship changed.  My SO moved and took our children with her.  My spirit exploded.  I made some very intense friends and connected with some very intense and emotionally advanced women.  One of those women was the one I received the email from.  She said that based on what she'd read on this blog showed her that I was very different now than I was then.

She's right.  My spirit evolved.  I learned lessons.  I brought that back to my current relationship and fully believe that this is where I'm supposed to be and want to be.  I'm more settled in and calmer spiritually.  Not necessarily temperamentally.

It doesn't diminish what I had back then.  I was supposed to experience that as well.  And learn from it, which I have.  It's made me who I am today.  It prepared me for what's to come.  I wouldn't make any different decisions if I were given it all over to do.

I miss those women.  I miss the energy that was around me then.  I miss what I was surrounded by.  I love what I have now and have learned to balance the "then" with the "now" and it works for me.

My spirit is still evolving but not nearly as explosive as it was then.  I'd like to think that there is more maturity which means taking measured steps towards what I'm supposed to become.  I would hope that there's more awareness on my part.

We'll see.  I'm looking forward to the journey.  I remember what I was when I met my friend and I use that as a guide or measuring stick for what I am now and what I will turn out to be. 

Broadway Pizza

I keep forgetting it's there and just down the street from me.  We decided to go there last night at about 5:30.  It wasn't crowded so we thought that dinner would come quickly. 

Not so.

And we discovered why.  They do a HUGE takeout business.  I wish they delivered.

We ordered a large "everything" which is what the youngest wanted.  We also ordered hotwings.  We ordered the hot which turned out to not be terribly hot but very tasty.  I'd get them again.  The sauce is spicy with a hint of vinegar and salt.  it was delicious.

And the pizza was also delicious although I don't think I'd the the "everything" again.  It was too much.  The flavors all meshed together until it really didn't taste like much.  Kinda like mixing all the colors together and you just end  up with black.  I'd go with only a few toppings.

I think that next time we might call ahead although the wait wasn't unpleasant because we entertained ourselves at the table. 

We will definitely go again and might even go there for lunch or at least call a pizza in then go pick it up.  I don't think it would give Memphis Pizza Cafe a run but it's a nice diversion and much closer to us.